Who is Coach?

Coach Full BodyAlliance University is overseen by a mysterious fictional character known to the agents of National Agents Alliance as merely, Coach. As the story goes, Coach has been wandering the hallowed halls of the National Agents Alliance corporate office since 2002, when NAA officially became an entity. Coach claims, although it has never been corroborated, that he has experienced much personal success in the field of professional sports coaching, and has influenced some of the greatest moments in sports history, including:

  • Roger Bannister’s breaking of the four-minute mile (May 6, 1954)
  • Muhammad Ali’s historic first-round take-down of Sonny Liston (May 25, 1965)
  • The historic perfect 10 scores on vault by Mary Lou Retton in the 1984 Summer Olympic Games
  • The breaking of Roger Maris’ single-season home run record by Cardinals’ Mark McGwire (Sept 8, 1998)
  • And many more uncredited incidents yet to be revealed

Coach Gitcher Buttingear was born May 7, 1934, and says that his secret to his youthful appearance is a natural derivative of the pure hope of new NAA agents that rubs off on him. Coach graduated from Hurtboro High School in Hurtsboro, Alabama in June of 1940. Although he denies it, many speculate that Coach and his parents chose their cities of residence because they identified the city names with the pain of self-improvement. (Coach currently resides in Half Hell, North Carolina. )

Coach was first introduced to the concept of systematizing business operations during his brief enrollment at Hamburger University. Coach learned that while you can’t duplicate people, you can duplicate systems, as evidenced by Ray Kroc of McDonald’s fame. His education was cut short, however, because in 1942 Coach was expelled when a disagreement with his football coach about a critical play during the state championship game turned physical. Walter Howard, coach of the football team, suffered injuries to his calves and knees after Coach Buttingear allegedly forcibly folded his legs into a bow and left him on the field after losing the game. Coach did not stay around to acknowledge his official notice of expulsion, but immediately struck out on his own as a sports consultant.

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Coach experienced many years of professional success training well-known athletes, for which he rarely received credit. Beginning in 1997, Coach began a downward spiral as he continuously signed training contracts with athletes who would ultimately let him down. In 1997, Coach agreed to help rebuild Mike Tyson’s career after suffering in the press for his erratic and unpredictable behavior. It proved to be a cutting blow to Coach when Boxing MatchTyson snapped and bit the ear of Evander Holyfield during a well-publicized bout. Afterward he helped train the great baseball power-hitter Mark McGwire, who ultimately beat the longstanding home run record of Roger Maris. Coach was crushed when it was later revealed that McGwire did so with the help of performance-enhancing drugs.

It was then that Coach fell out of sports training completely. He had hit bottom, and began building a reputation in Burlington, NC for attending midget soccer games alone and yelling at the volunteer coaches. Andy Albright met Coach for the first time when taking son, Spencer, to his karate practice.

Says Albright, “Coach’s anger and bitterness was obviously misdirected. But when I walked in and saw the sensei cowering in the corner with tears flowing, I knew this man had the potential to change lives.”

Albright took Coach under his wing in 2002 and supported him as Coach observed the formation of what is now known as The Alliance. In 2009 with the launch of Alliance University, Coach emerged from his basement office and began coaching new agents to greater heights of success.

“With some people you just know,” says Albright. “This man has anger issues clearly, but I’ve never seen anyone scare people into doing the right thing as well as he. As long as he continues to get me results, and doesn’t harm my company with his antics, I see nothing but success in our future.”